a tribute to cheetos

you can't go wrong with cheetos.  when faced with a myriad of choices at the vending machine, but limited by the change in your pocket to a single choice, go with the cheetos.  i'm sure we're all familiar with the problem with potato chips... their shape and arrangement in the bag is less than optimal, resulting in much of the bag being filled with air.  you finish those small bags and you flip it upside down, shaking the last paltry crumbs into your oily hands thinking, what? that's it? there was barely anything in there!  then there is the flavor dusting problem.  too often i've found that the flavor is distributed quite irregularly on chips... some chips have nothing on them while others have the flavor powder literally caked on.  whoever is in charge of cheetos over at frito-lay deserves a prize.  the shape of the cheeto is ideal for packing.  those cheetos are packed in there real good. and each cheeto has a generous yet not overwhelming coat of cheesy goodness.  a close runner up to the cheetos are the fritos.  fritos also pack well in to the package, surprisingly so, despite their curly shape.  and fritos have two flavors that are works of genius: chili cheese and chili lime.  i'll admit that i'll sometimes choose one of these flavored fritos over the cheetos when i see them in the vending machine.  they do seem to be a bit less ubiquitous than the cheetos, however.
you may be wondering, oh, what about the spicy hot cheetos? those are great!  if so, i applaud your refined cheetos palatte.  i, too, can appreciate the fine flavor of the spicy hot cheetos.  however, those of you familiar with my relationship with spicy foods know that my body has a quite unfortunate reaction to them.  it's quite painful at times, and often strenuous on my body, demonstrably so, which often shocks or startles onlookers.  Hahaha, I remember one time I ate a whole bag of those spicy hot cheetos, and my body got rid of it FAST.  and quite uncomfortably so, i might add. interestingly enough, i don't have this sort of negative reaction to all types of hotness. it seems like it's just for chili spice... for instance, i'm able to amiably enjoy, and actually have a great affinity for hot wasabi, and hot girls.

today i read an article about some of the observations made by soldiers who are guarding saddam hussein.  apparently he really likes cheetos, too.  it cracked me up how he was grumpy when they ran out, and how he ate those doritos they gave him instead. 

come to think of it, i like doritos, too... although they do fall victim to the packing problem, and flavor problem...

cheetos, fritos, and doritos.... i guess i must really like corn meal.