quote of the day

"Sometimes I wear my glasses to look smart in front of ladies. Other times, I wear them to see better when those ladies bend over."
-Creed, on Creed Thoughts

Tough Decision

Faced with a choice today between a Coke and a Pepsi I settled on Coke.
It's not easy making these sort of hard decisions.

...then later, I thought, wait a minute...
that vending machine was selling both Coke and Pepsi products.
What an open, accepting, and cooperative spirit of camaraderie exemplified by this vending machine!
It's good to know there are people out there making the world a better place to live for everyone.
6th floor vending machine, I salute you!

squatters

Lydia's recent post on squatters reminded me of my own experience, 5 years ago.  Flashback to summer of 2002...

Ok so I was in Korea, and somehow found myself at the front door of apartment of the people I was supposed to stay with, but nobody was home.  Problem, I had to do a #2 real bad.  Well, not such a big problem, I thought to myself, there's a McDonalds across the street, I'll just go use their restroom.  For some reason the person has a hard time understanding me, but eventually they understand, and tell me it's outside the restaurant, around the corner, down a hallway (it was in sort of a shopping mall).  I follow the directions and find the restroom.  Alas, there are only squatters.  But what am I to do, it's an emergency.  So I get in there, and then I'm frantically trying to figure out how to use the thing.  Time is ticking so I give up trying to figure out the acrobatics, and just take off the pants and underwear completely, and let go.  Whew. Disaster averted.  I take a look down. Oh nasty.  I look around and find a lever, pull it, and whoosh! it's all gone! Huh, well it's apparently not for lack of plumbing that they have squatters here.  Maybe porcelain or whatever it is toilets are made of is expensive... So then I look around for toilet paper and then am horrified as I realize that there is none.  What kind of bathroom has no toilet paper??!! I'm instantly furious at Korea.  I'm racking my brain for solutions... If I knew about this beforehand I could've at least gotten napkins at the McDonalds. Can I gingerly waddle over there without creating a mess in my pants? Wait! I'm flooded with relief as I remember that I had one of those travel packs of Kleenex in my backpack which I *never* carry around ordinarily.  I happily fish it out, clean myself, and walk out.  Boy, Kleenex is soft!  Later that trip I would discover that the ubiquitous PC Bangs tend to have regular sit down toilets, and so I never had to go through the same sort of stressful ordeal the rest of the time there.

Good question

"Why do they call it a piehole? Why not a cookiehole?"

Nature vs. Nuture

Some guys will spit into the urinal before/during/or after use. 
Is this an innate reflex? Like the shiver?
Or is it a learned behavior? Like washing your hands afterwards.

These are the types of questions that keep me up at night tossing and turning.

workplace antics

I guess a lot of people took the day off today because it's some sort of holiday. (Good Friday or something)  So I got of auto-response emails from people who were out. I really liked this one:

I will be out of the office starting 04/04/2007 and will not return until 04/10/2007.
I will respond to your message if I return.

It inspires me to put up an auto-response at the end of each day.

Later on, there was a group of people talking about exercise.  This one guy was talking about running, biking, swimming, etc.  Then he asked this old guy, "do you do any sort of sports?"  To which he responds, "My specialty is in 12-inch wrist-curls."
It took tremendous effort not to burst out in my trademark 100-decibel laughter.  But I could not help leaking out a small smile while still looking straight at my computer screen.  I imagine I must have looked like Dwight from The Office at that moment. 12-inch my ass!!! Funnier still, I don't think the guy that he said that too got the joke, because he laughed and responded, "yeah how about the nacho chip curl?", while demonstrating how he brings a chip from the plate to his mouth.  I wanted to slap my forehead.  ASS!

Happy Pi Day

Some tips for celebrating pi day:
1. Don't watch the movie pi.  That movie is a waste of life.
2. Do eat some pie. Eat with ice cream for even more awesome.
3. Don't show off to your friends how many digits of pi you can recite from memory. It'll make you a prime target for getting beat up, getting a wedgie, or both.
4. Do learn something new about pi today. I'll help you get started: pi belongs to a class of numbers called transcendentals, which is a number that is not the root of any integer polynomial. Haha

dst technology

i thought the clock in my clock would adjust automatically for dst, as it usually does.  i had assumed it gets its time from the gps signal or something.  turns out i was wrong. i did a little research and found a service announcement for dst from honda.  i thought it was kinda funny, so i'm posting it here.

This year, a new federal law kicks in that stretches out Daylight Saving Time (DST) by a full month. DST
now starts on the second Sunday in March and ends the first Sunday in November. For this year, it means
the clocks spring forward at 2:00 a.m. on March 11th, and fall back at the same time on November 4th.
(Last year, the clocks sprang forward on April 2nd, and fell back on October 29th.)
In navigation systems that allow for DST, this poses a problem—the system doesn't know about the new
DST schedule. We're working on a software patch to correct for this new schedule, but until it's available,
here's what you can do when the clocks spring forward:
1. Go to the appropriate screen that's used for adjusting the clock.
• If the screen has a setting for DST, turn off that setting and go to step 2.
• If the screen doesn't have a setting for DST, go to step 2.
2. Set the clock to the correct time if needed.

Happy Meal

Sometimes really small things in life can make you happy.
The other day, I was short on time, and I had nothing at home to eat, so I went to Popeye's for dinner. Alright, that's a pretty lame excuse for polluting my body, I know. One of the awesome things about living out on my own is that I can eat fried chicken any time I want! Well, I suppose I could have done that before, too. Like when I got a driver's license. But then at home I'd still have to deal with the dirty looks from my mom when she'd ask me what I ate. Now I only deal with my own guilt for poisoning myself, which can be neatly swept under the rug. Anyway, so I went to Popeye's. Actually, it was quite an ordeal to figure out what to eat, and when I finally settled on it, I was pretty happy with my decision. (you can only eat so many sandwiches and pizzas and burritos. oh, I guess this is where we get into the downsides of living out on my own.) So I walk into the store, and oh man, longest line ever! it musta been National Eat-fried-chicken-for-dinner Day. I wait patiently in line and wonder, how can it take so long? All the food is already made, all you gotta do is take the order, put the food in a bag, take payment, and then yell "NEXT!" I like to think positively, so I figure during the extra time I'm standing in line, I'll be able to take a long time to study the menu and figure out what I really want. After long deliberation, I conclude I would like combo #1. Hahaha. It's a 3-piece meal (leg, thigh, and wing), w/ 2 sides, a biscuit and a drink. Hmm... but in the picture, there's 3 pieces of chicken, biscuit, fries, and a drink. So is it 1 side or 2? It's finally my turn to order at the most inefficient fast-food restaurant ever. Turns out it's 2 sides. Cha-ching! I happily order coleslaw and mashed potatoes, and watch them put my order together. I learn that the reason they're so inefficient is.... there was no good reason. They were just not very good at what they did. I'm sorry, staff at Popeye's, but I think fast-food service is just not your calling. You should pursue other career aspirations. This makes me think of when I would goto Taco Bell when I was in middle school and I'd be mesmerized at how fast those workers were able to throw those tacos and burritos together. It would be like magic. That's a good efficient fast-food system. Also I feel obligated to praise Chipotle's system of how you walk down the assembly line, and choose what you want in your burrito. Very efficient! and interactive, too!
Anyway, so I bring my food home and I start eating. When I was little, my favorite part was the leg, because it's easy to hold, it's the most fun to eat. But then when I got older, I started disliking the leg, and I liking the breast much more. (we're still talking about chicken here, by the way) But then nowadays, I find that I've gone back to liking the leg better than the breast because it's more flavorful. So I eat the leg first, (sticking to my usual strategy, which is to take what's best first, not save what's best for last, like some people do. I have a very good reason for this, which I might go into in some other post). I look in the box to see what piece I should eat next, and... wait a minute, what's this? there's another leg! i got an extra leg! I suddenly felt very happy. So much so I actually raised my arms triumphantly yelled out, "yes!" I felt like such a winner.

Happy Meal

Sometimes really small things in life can make you happy. 
The other day, I was short on time, and I had nothing at home to eat, so I went to Popeye's for dinner.  Alright, that's a pretty lame excuse for polluting my body, I know. One of the awesome things about living out on my own is that I can eat fried chicken any time I want! Well, I suppose I could have done that before, too.  Like when I got a driver's license.  But then at home I'd still have to deal with the dirty looks from my mom when she'd ask me what I ate.  Now I only deal with my own guilt for poisoning myself, which can be neatly swept under the rug.  Anyway, so I went to Popeye's.  Actually, it was quite an ordeal to figure out what to eat, and when I finally settled on it, I was pretty happy with my decision.  (you can only eat so many sandwiches and pizzas and burritos. oh, I guess this is where we get into the downsides of living out on my own.)  So I walk into the store, and oh man, longest line ever! it musta been National Eat-fried-chicken-for-dinner Day.  I wait patiently in line and wonder, how can it take so long? All the food is already made, all you gotta do is take the order, put the food in a bag, take payment, and then yell "NEXT!"  I like to think positively, so I figure during the extra time I'm standing in line, I'll be able to take a long time to study the menu and figure out what I really want.  After long deliberation, I conclude I would like combo #1.  Hahaha.  It's a 3-piece meal (leg, thigh, and wing), w/ 2 sides, a biscuit and a drink.  Hmm... but in the picture, there's 3 pieces of chicken, biscuit, fries, and a drink.  So is it 1 side or 2? It's finally my turn to order at the most inefficient fast-food restaurant ever.  Turns out it's 2 sides. Cha-ching! I happily order coleslaw and mashed potatoes, and watch them put my order together.  I learn that the reason they're so inefficient is.... there was no good reason.  They were just not very good at what they did.  I'm sorry, staff at Popeye's, but I think fast-food service is just not your calling.  You should pursue other career aspirations.  This makes me think of when I would goto Taco Bell when I was in middle school and I'd be mesmerized at how fast those workers were able to throw those tacos and burritos together. It would be like magic.  That's a good efficient fast-food system.  Also I feel obligated to praise Chipotle's system of how you walk down the assembly line, and choose what you want in your burrito. Very efficient! and interactive, too!
Anyway, so I bring my food home and I start eating.  When I was little, my favorite part was the leg, because it's easy to hold, it's the most fun to eat. But then when I got older, I started disliking the leg, and I liking the breast much more. (we're still talking about chicken here, by the way) But then nowadays, I find that I've gone back to liking the leg better than the breast because it's more flavorful.  So I eat the leg first, (sticking to my usual strategy, which is to take what's best first, not save what's best for last, like some people do.  I have a very good reason for this, which I might go into in some other post).  I look in the box to see what piece I should eat next, and... wait a minute, what's this? there's another leg! i got an extra leg! I suddenly felt very happy. So much so I actually raised my arms triumphantly yelled out, "yes!"    I felt like such a winner.

sweet scent of decay

i haven't been reading any books lately. my brain is going to rot! i need to read a lot of books so i can write my own book someday.
i haven't played basketball in a while. how am i ever gonna make it to the nba at this rate?
small accomplishment: i've run/walked at least 5 miles per day for the past 3 days. it makes me hungrier and also makes me require more sleep. mid-section bulge update: no changes yet. i'll keep you posted.
latest itunes purchases: say it right - nelly furtado, read my mind - the killers

superbowl!

So what's worse? Peyton Manning's jacked up nose or Rex Grossman's funky eyebrows? Post a comment!


...and Peyton Manning's nose takes home the trophy!

My favorite Super Bowl commercial? The Fed Ex one where they say Fed Ex Ground is not as slow as it sounds...

snow

It snowed here this past weekend.
I have to admit, it makes the trees, houses, and landscape look pretty.
But the roads become very, very ugly.

Philly cheesesteak showdown

Pat's King of Steaks
vs
Geno's Steaks


If you go to Philadelphia and have cheesesteak, apparently the places to go are Pat's and Geno's. They're right across the street from each other. Read more on cheesesteaks here. I did my research before going, and I decided I wanted to goto Geno's, because they're cleaner, and they say the meat is seasoned, and they use Amoroso bread. When we got there, the styles between the two places was pretty evident. Geno's is bright orange, so flashy, and commercial looking. Pat's looks more ghetto, and hole-in-the-wallish. Sandra says "hole-in-the-wall is better!" so she went to Pat's. For what you get, I think it's a bit overpriced. Both places charge $7 per sandwich. You do get more meat in the sandwich from Pat's, but it's blander, so you might need condiments like some peppers (spicy! ooh start sweatin'). Pat's has thick fries, Geno's has thin fries. Both have some sort of breading on them (they're both good). I ordered "wiz wit" which means wiz cheez, with grilled onions. In the end, I'll say it was a novel experience, but I felt a little ripped off, and in a head-to-head showdown against California's In-n-out burger, South Philly's cheesesteak don't stand a chance.

Phooning in Philly

Took a day trip to Philadelphia last weekend. Look at this awesome picture of me phooning on top of Sandra's head on the steps in front of the Philadelphia Museum of Art. These are the steps that Rocky ran up, so of course, every other person there has to run up the steps and then lift up their fists when they get to the top.
If you're wondering what "phooning" means, check out phoons.com